And Miles To Go Before I Sleep
by latelydreaming
Summary: They always say to be careful what you wish for. Rin just never saw how her wish could go wrong. (Inspired by and heavily based off of Seaouryou's Mortality. All credit goes to him/her, and this fic will be removed at his/her request.)


_**Forever**_

_latelydreaming_

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**Author's Note:** This fic is heavily based off of and inspired by Seaouryou's Mortality. Honestly, I wrote this forever ago and when I recently read over Seaouryou's fic again, I realized that not only is my version far too similar to be considered even the tiniest bit independent, but that Seaouryou's version is also so much better than mine. So! Consider this a fanfic of a fanfic in which pretty much the exact same thing happens, only with different words, and the Tenseiga isn't the fountain of youth, though it does still work more than once on a person. Also, this fic will be removed at the request of Seaouryou and props go to him/her for having this idea in the first place.

**PLEASE READ MORTALITY BY SEAOURYOU!** (If I'm going to uh… _borrow_ his/her idea, the least I could do is advertise.)

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_Now I lay me down to sleep,_

_I pray the Lord my soul to keep._

_If I should die before I wake,_

_I pray the Lord my soul to take._

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The first time Rin died, she was a little girl. She'd been mauled by wolves, and death was slow, painful, and inevitable. Still, she didn't scream or cry or call for help. As with everything else in her life, she accepted it silently. She wasn't entirely sure, but her last thought might have been about golden eyes and glistening white fur.

She woke not long after and cheerfully followed the demon who revived her. She didn't ask at the time, but it felt like a promise of forever.

**XXX**

The second time she died was during their travels that winter. Lord Sesshomaru wasn't accustomed to travelling with a frail human, so he took less care of her than he ought, and she froze to death on a particularly cold night in January. She hadn't complained before, and she still didn't when she woke the next morning and packed up her camp so they could move on.

He said nothing, but shortly after he gave her warmer clothes and several more blankets. She didn't ask at the time, but it felt like a promise of forever.

**XXX**

She died again in the spring while trying to catch a fish to give Lord Sesshomaru for lunch. (She _still_ hadn't figured out what he ate. All she knew was that it wasn't "human food," but fish wasn't _just_ human food, so she was pretty sure he would accept it.) Admittedly, she wasn't as careful as she should have been. That "forever," though unspoken, hung very prominently in her mind, so she didn't struggle much when her foot slipped on a rock and the waters dragged her under.

He was very irritated when she woke, but she only smiled and set her clothes out to dry. This time she did ask. He didn't reply. It still felt like a promise of forever.

**XXX**

She died when he'd gone off somewhere leaving her with only Master Jaken and Ah-Un for protection. Perhaps she was feeling a bit rebellious, because she snuck away and went exploring in the nearby forest. She didn't find much, just a very territorial snake demon. He wasn't strong compared to Lord Sesshomaru, but he was strong enough.

She wasn't sure how long it had been when she woke, but from the sound of Master Jaken's incessant whining about how _disgusting_ it was to clean the little animals and bugs out of her corpse, it had been a while. She immediately jumped onto Lord Sesshomaru with a delighted, "I missed you!" They ate grilled snake that night. Warmed by the campfire and contented by her full belly, she was lulled into asking again. "Can I follow you forever?" He was still a long time before he finally nodded.

**XXX**

She died after slipping on gravel and falling from a cliff. She woke to find him cradling her in his arm as he carried her across the loose ground. Snuggling closer, she thought to herself that forever wasn't long enough.

**XXX**

She died at the age of thirteen after he deposited her in a human village and left again with Master Jaken. A week later he returned to find her kissing a local boy. She only had time for a surprised gasp before she felt the claws pierce her heart. The last thing she saw was his normally stoic expression contorting to one of sorrow as he realized he'd pushed too far through the boy's chest.

She didn't mention it when she woke; instead, she busied herself cleaning the dead boy's blood from her kosode. She wasn't bothered much by the fact that he'd accidentally killed her. He had forever to make up for it, after all.

**XXX**

She died twice the next time he left her alone in a village. The first time she'd been standing too close to a noble's horse when it began panicking and bucking. She didn't fel the need to dodge its hooves; she knew he'd be back soon enough to rectify her death. The villagers buried her that evening.

When she woke, he warned her to be more careful and returned her to the village. Two days later, the villagers hung her for being a witch. They didn't bury her this time.

She began scavenging amongst the village ruins when she woke, searching for anything that would be useful in their travels.

**XXX**

She died several times during his wars and conquests. Though he tried to keep her from the front lines, sometimes danger was unavoidable. Arrows, guns, explosives, fires, swords, poisons, plagues, and infections… all were painful but endurable.

She smiled for him every time she woke to let him know she was all right.

**XXX**

She died the first time they made love. And the second. And third. And fourth. And many times after that. He wasn't very gentle.

She still forgave him every time she woke because it was part of his nature. He had forever to change.

**XXX**

She died the first time she became pregnant. He'd enveloped her in a literal bone-crushing hug when she'd told him. One of her ribs punctured her lung and she drowned in her own blood.

It was the first time she cried as she died. She resolved to let him find out on his own next time. Maybe that would help him handle his excitement better.

**XXX**

She died the second time she became pregnant, too. It took three months for him to realize it. He drove Bakusaiga through her stomach when he did. This time the message was clear: he didn't want children. He watched apathetically as she bled to death. She didn't cry. Not outwardly, anyway.

She didn't forgive him when she woke. She didn't say anything, either. She did try to keep herself from becoming pregnant, though. Forever once seemed like a good thing.

**XXX**

She died the third time she became pregnant. He never knew. She made it look like an accident.

She began to hate him when she woke.

**XXX**

She died when she was careless. She died when she was too frail to accept his love. She died when she gave too much attention to anyone else. She died when she annoyed him. She died and died and died and died…. It seemed all she ever did was die.

She kept waking up, though. Forever was starting to feel like a long time, and she was beginning to wish she'd asked for something less.

**XXX**

She died when she tried to escape. He'd left her in his palace again; only his attendants remained to serve her, but they were stupid and weak. She ran while she had the chance. It lasted five days. He killed her when he found her.

She woke back in his palace, his arms crushing her tightly against him. He didn't let her out of his sight for the next month. It felt like forever.

**XXX**

She died two months later. He hadn't trapped her in his embrace when he fell asleep. Three days this time. He killed her again.

She cried when she woke up.

**XXX**

She died after four more escape attempts. He started killing her before he fell asleep so he wouldn't have to chase her down the next morning.

She returned to the endless silence of her childhood after the twelfth time she woke.

**XXX**

She died. She hung herself, she jumped from heights, she slit her wrists, her throat, her stomach…. She drank poison, she walked into fires, she taunted animals, warriors, demons, Lord Sesshomaru himself even, anyone, any_thing_ dangerous and deadly. She always died.

And he would never let her stay that way.

**XXX**

Most people didn't live past forty. Very few made it to sixty. Rin died at one hundred and seven years of old age. Even the Tenseiga couldn't undo that. Her ancient corpse wore a brilliant smile. Forever was finally, finally over.

**XXX**

She woke expectantly, curious as to what the afterlife would be like. She had hoped it would be nothing, but something was fine so long as it wasn't _life_.

And it wasn't. It was worse.

**XXX**

She didn't die anymore. Bodies made of clay and bone and graveyard soil don't die.

She broke often. But broken could be fixed. Broken could always be fixed. And he would always be there to fix her.

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_Forever and ever and ever._

_Amen._

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In the end, it never ended.

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Again,** PLEASE READ MORTALITY BY SEAOURYOU! **This fic's existence belongs to him/her!


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